This afternoon as I was sitting quietly before YHWH, I realized that I hadn’t written an article for the 40 Days of Awe. I have been thinking about it, but I hadn’t yet come up with something concrete. So, I opened my daily devotional for July 24, from the “Jesus Always” devotional, and this is what it said. “Do not be afraid: do not be discouraged. You are looking ahead at uncertainties, letting them unnerve you. Fear and discouragement are waiting alongside your pathway into the future-ready to accompany you if you let them.” Wow!! This word described exactly how I have been feeling lately. I have been worried about my parents. My mother is living in a Care Center 90 miles away. Dad lives 4 miles from me. I clean his house, call him most days, and we drive the 90 miles to see Mom every week. I take Dad to all of his doctor appointments, and help him with his shopping. This year, he has had one health issue after another, and he wasn’t feeling up to planting a garden. However, he started feeling better, and he ended up planting a huge garden. He is almost 90 years old, doing what he loves to do, but I still worry that it is too much for him. He is very unsteady on his feet, and he falls. This week, he is going to have the remaining few teeth on the bottom pulled out, so he can get dentures. Each week when we visit Mom, it is evident that she is increasingly frailer. My parents have been married 66 years, and for them to be separated in this stage of their lives is very difficult. And yet!!
The devotional continues to say, “Yet, I am always with you, holding you by your right hand. Because I live beyond time, I am also on the path up ahead-shining brightly, beckoning you on, encouraging you to fix your gaze on Me. Cling tightly to My hand and walk resolutely past those dark presences of fearfulness and despair. Keep looking toward My radiant Presence that beams out rays of unfailing Love and endless encouragement. Your confidence comes from knowing I am continually with you and I am already in your future, preparing the way before you. Listen as I call back to you- words of warning, and wisdom, courage and hope: Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your Elohim. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
As I read this, I realized I had allowed myself to be full of fear and uncertainty. So Father, I choose to fix my eyes on You. I choose to acknowledge that you are with me, my parents, my grandkids, my kids and my community. You know each of our paths. You know the future, and it is good. I choose to live in love and not fear. Thank you Father for your guidance and your assurance that you are always with us. Amen
Introduction to 2018 40 Days of Repentance: https://bneyyosefna.com/2018/08/12/40-days-of-repentance-introduction-for-2018/
Glossary to 2018 40 Days of Repentance: https://bneyyosefna.com/2018/08/12/glossary-of-terms-for-40-days-of-repentance/