By Mark and Polly Webb
Family conflict is never pleasant. It dissolves the bonds that hold a family together. Families become broken and distance themselves from each other, having to bear the challenges of life alone without the help of the larger family unit.
Our family is part of a Biblical sacred family; we are a tribe within a tribe. Our tribe currently consists of 81 people; our tribal patriarch and matriarch are still living both at the age of 83. Next month they will welcome grandchild number 66. There are 5 clans within our tribe.
Our parents and grandparents expect us to guard against conflict that creeps in. Conflict comes in disguise and brings its cousins chaos and confusion along. It usually tries to enter through unresolved broken hearts caused by behaviors, beliefs, frustrations and failed expectations.
We have been taught the importance of loving and being caretakers of each other and those around us. We were taught to keep our families bound by making time together at the dinner table, with each person having their place. To also be committed to gatherings and reunions so the younger generations can stay connected.
Our family has recently been blessed with a First Nations Version, an indigenous translation of the New Testament. We would like to pause a moment and share a summary of the prologue, our Biblical sacred family’s story of Creation followed by family conflict.
The Breath of The Great Spirit soared over the surface of the waters like an eagle brooding over her nest. Next the voice of Creator is sounded, “Let light be!”
Over the following six days the Great Spirit made all things seen and unseen in the spirit world above and the earth below. On the sixth day the first family was created and placed in “The Garden of Beauty and Harmony” to be caretakers.
The Great Spirit blessed the seventh day and rested from the work He had finished. The first family was instructed to enter into this day of rest with Him.
Side Note – Our family views this seventh day as a day blessed with a spiritual door that leads to a gate to a secret place of rest, refreshment, wisdom and understanding. Blessed are those who find it.
The Accuser, a spirit from the world above, opposed the Great Spirit. He deceived by twisting His words and placed seeds of doubt (conflict) into the minds of the first family. By disobeying the Maker of Life, the door to death was opened with all its bloodshed, violence and destruction that followed.
The life of beauty and harmony no longer existed. A powerful curse entered upon the ground that affected all living things causing a spiritual and physical death. Hearts of the first family became twisted with good and evil.
Creator revealed what would result from the curse that entered. He promised to send “The Chosen One” born of a virgin that would crush the head of the Accuser and restore His family and creation back to life of beauty and harmony.
After many generations, Creator made a peace treaty with a man named “Father of Many Nations” (Abraham). Through this man and his family Creator would bring to pass His promise.
Creator chose the tribes of “The Father of Many Nations” to be a light to other nations, however, they failed to keep the peace treaty. They broke and misrepresented Creator’s instructions. Creator sent messengers to turn the tribe’s hearts back to the Great Spirit but they did not listen. Instead, they chose to go to war with each other allowing family conflict to divide into two tribal nations- “Wrestles with Creator” (Israel) and “Give Him Honor” (Judah).
Creators heart full of sorrow, allowed this divided family to be conquered and taken captive by people of the “Village of Confusion” (Babylon). However, He never forgot his ancient promise to restore this family and all of creation back to a life of beauty and harmony.
As members of this sacred family, we often find ourselves having to resist conflict, sometimes within ourselves, as we wait for the restoration promised to our family.
A wise fellow BYNA elder, John Conrad, shared words of wisdom with us from his father-
“Would you rather be right or reconciled?”
These words have come to mind often when we find ourselves resisting conflict.
During a conflict it’s much easier to separate than to have a conversation. There are times when separation is necessary.
In the beginning light was separated from darkness. The Creators voice declared out of the depth of darkness “Let there be light!” The light of His decrees and promises are upon us, we have done nothing to deserve them.
Last week we failed to allow His light to radiate from us while visiting a favorite restaurant. From the moment we sat down our experience was not pleasant. Our waiter was not friendly, service was slow, the food was not the quality expected, we waited and waited for our check so we could leave.
After several attempts at flagging down our waiter to ask for our check, he finally brought it, then stood over us waiting to see what gratuity amount we were going to add. We stepped away from him for a moment to consider the amount. We added half the amount we normally would have based on his service and our experience. During the drive home our spirit was convicted.
We were reminded that our promise keeping Great Chief does not bless us according to our service or His experience with us. His blessings come because he is faithful to His promises.
We repented for our actions for not recognizing, resisting and removing conflict in its simplest form. Conflict came in disguise and caused us to fail to be caretakers of others. Our waiter was hoping for and expecting our help. Our frustration allowed conflict in and caused us to diminish and distort the Creator’s light within us.
Abba helps us to resist conflict so Your Great Light always shines through us to show us how to love and be good caretakers and keepers of each other and those around us.
Mark and Polly Webb
BYNA Elders
